Jun 19, 2006

Summit Coda

So now I can say I've been to Summit. Been there, done that, chose not to buy the t-shirt (and ran out of time to get my autograph on it, too!). Didn't buy the dvd either, although if anyone has a copy, pass it around.

Summit was a great experience. I'm very glad I went, even with the high elevation and the obnoxious roommates...whom I still love. While my zeal and determination has kinda wained in the face of real normal life, I'm still determined to get my brother to go to Summit before he goes off to college, no matter which college he goes to. I might not push for my old youth group to go, although I should probably still swing everything by Josh.

I did not go to Summit to learn worldviews or anything else. I went mainly because I thought I could better understand a lot of what I'm being taught at church. I feel at times that I'm simply holding up a Bible and shouting "WHY DOES IT ALL NOT MAKE SENSE??"...while still trying to live a semi-normal life that does not live and breathe the Bible 24/7.

I'll be honest here; the idea of me sitting around and reading my Bible during every idle second of the day does not sound appealing to me at all. If that's the highest standard Christians should aspire to, well, I don't. And if I should, I better pray God changes me from the inside out.

But I have learned many things. I even have several books, a dvd, and a few sheets of paper that I need to find time to go over in detail and in prayer. And the Spirit is still knocking on my heart, asking me to let down all these Biblical and religious strongholds I have in my life and let Him in for a drink. And from what I've heard, when you and the Spirit get together for drinks, He will drink you under the table.


I should note that I've been having fewer "demon" dreams or whatever they were. When we went to Summit, everything just started to get more vivid and hyper-realistic. I don't know if it was just being there that gave me the dreams, or if it was a more clear and uncluttered focus on God, or a lack of music (the dreams did diminish after I started partaking before going to bed) and media...I'm not really sure. I've had a few weird dreams since coming back, but things seem to be getting closer to normal. Nothing super terrifying at least (watch me jinx myself now...).


I feel the need to write more about "The Girl." The amount of crap/comments I've been receiving from people about her is amazing. People who I didn't even know could read are asking me whatever happened to her!!

Well, there's really not much to say. I saw an attractive girl at the Flying W, and kept on running into her throughout the night. Throughout the night I noticed her performing certain tasks with a certain type of Spirit behind them, and it spoke to me. Said some things, some that still sting, some that just remind.

As attractive as the girl was, she personally is really nothing (especially if she just graduated from highschool); she is more of an idea that anything else. Her actions and testimony remind of certain traits that I myself use to have. I use to always be the courteous one, the one who will always open the door, move the chair, volunteer, help out, or whatever. I did it partly because I wanted to and partly because it was needed.

Sadly, I've changed. I got way too tired of being stepped on, abused, counted on, demanded on, etc. It's part of the reason why I finally left Fourth Baptist and got so fed up with Davanni's. I was there every single day of the week helping out and doing something "for the Lord." "Storing up treasures in heaven." "Making the store run smooth." Etc. When you've held the door for 300-500 people, end up being the last in line, not had a place left waiting for you with your group of friends, or missed out on something important yet trivial....you get really tired of it really quick.

The Girl's actions kinda stung me a little. Still does, if I think about it too hard. I saw something in her that's missing in me, and not only did it convict me of what I need to be more like, but it made me realize that that was a character trait I want to see in others, or more importantly, the mythical "future wife."

And yes, I know the last will be first, etc. Still.

Another important fact that came out of The Girl is a strong sense or belief that a decent single Christian woman is out there somewhere in the world. For the longest time I've wanted nothing to do with Christian women, cause I find their "testimony" or life rather repulsive. I've seen too many Christian girls who are the worse lot of humanity.

Not that I am a saint by any means, far from it, but when Christians are commanded to marry other Christians, I plan on upholding my end of the bargain and be a decent person. The way you act is FAR more important than if you have a "born again" experience; it's only through actions that we can impact people. Actions shout louder than words, etc etc.

But while I don't know if The Girl in question is saved or not, she made me realize something. Somewhere out there is a person that God has put aside for me at a certain time that I will be 1- attracted to, 2- can respect, 3- will be a Christian, 4- will be a decent person, and 5- some unknown quality I can't put into words (yet).

AKA- She gave me hope, without saying a single word or pointing out a single verse. And that's precious.

The Girl is an ideal. Nothing more. While I wouldn't mind meeting her again, learning her name, if she's saved, etc...I don't have to. God can do that for me.


Summit is probably going to be an ongoing experience. I'll probably blog when new things strike me or inspire. While this might be the bookend to all official Summit blogs, more will come.

Did I have fun? Fun is a hard thing for me to describe. I enjoyed my time at Summit; not all of it, but most of it. Could have done without some of the drama and people, and especially that stupid mandatory sports time (SOME OF US NEED TO SLEEP!!!).

So if "fun" is a ratio, amount of enjoyment to amount of misery, then yes, I definitely had fun, and would gladly do it again.

I give Summit a 70-75% fun experience on a 100% scale. However, add another 10 points if I'd actually allowed myself to become super interested in anyone (or inquire about anyone who was interested in me...I got some unwelcome hints). Add another 10 points if I had gotten to go eat at Popeyes...

In Summary- Summit was fun, inspirational, educational, edutainmental, tiring, and one of the better "camp" experiences I've ever been on. And a great place to meet some new friends.

Dave, you still owe me a cd, and Joe, you owe me like $22 or something...and Beau/Garrett, give me a call, we gotta hang out sometime.

That is all.

"Dear Prudence..."

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