Jun 12, 2007

Friends, and Frat Part Duo

Ever judge the quality of your friendships by how much time you spend on your friends? Do you ever worry that you really don't care about certain friends simply because you never talk to them or interact with them? It's kinda scary if you give it much thought. Really shows who is truly important to you in your life.

But anyways...

Finally picked up my AA at NorthHenn. Wow, what a wonderful experience it is dealing with those admissions people. I have never once had a helpful experience interacting with those offices. Everyone is always rude and put out to help you in any way. And that guidance counselor I met with years ago? What a bunch of help. "What do you want to do? Ok, get your AA and then transfer. Now get out." Sheesh.

My goal this summer is to be out of the house by the end of said summer. I think it's about time, don't you? Sure. I'm just curious how I'm going to do that. Already I'm strongly thinking of getting out of the bakery. I do not ever want to work another graduation season/thanksgiving/christmas in that place. Any other department that doesn't involve food, perhaps, but not the bakery. And honestly I'd rather just get out of Costco all together. I'm not too keen on working in such a big Fortune 500 place, even though managers start at $50g. Life's not all about money, right?

As I explained to my manager in a little talk one day, the most important reason I could never stay at Costco is the cost to your personal life. Managers are expected to work at least a 12 hour day, one day off. And those hours can be from 5 am to 10 pm or really at any time. Can I get married and raise a family on that? "Shoosh, kids, daddy needs to sleep. I know it's only 6 pm, but he has to be at work at 4 am."

No thank you. So really, other than Supervisor, I'm as far as I want to advance at Costco.

So I'm seriously of finding another job. Problem is, I can't accept less than $12, and I'd prefer not to have wrist killing 60 lb bag manual labor. I shouldn't be living off extra strength Tylenol and Tylenol PM in order just to stay asleep at night.

I'm already thinking of how to move out of my parents and into the frat. First step is to do something with all this crap I've accumulated. The wrong answer is to toss it all. I'd have all of college paid off if my mom hadn't sold off my vintage Star Wars collection for pennies. And yes, she realizes she messed up, lol.

So, I've got some purchases to make before I can move into the frat. One, storage boxes that are water proof. Those will be for cd cases, books, magazines, etc. Misc stuff, really. I went through all my mags a few weeks ago and threw about a foot high stack away. What's left are keepers. Preferably I'd like to send them to a bindery, but that'd cost. My boxs of comics can be stored safely at my parents. They've been tucked away for three years now, with me just pulling them out to inventory or add to them on occasion. Those are fine.

(BTW, just Star Wars comics, I'm sitting on over a grand. Maybe two or even three grand.)

Next thing is obviously clothes. What's really important to bring to the frat, what can I leave her and grab when I really need them. But the most important thing, at least in my little world, is my television. Space is at a premium at the frat, and I definitely need my TV for dvds and games. (Might even buy a 360 and Xbox Live on the frat's high speed connection!!) So I'm strongly thinking of abusing Best Buys' return policy in a paycheck or two and trading in the SlimFit HD for maybe a 32" LCD flat panel or something. I love my TV despite it's flaws, but it's still too big for the frat.

So I've got some goals. Which I'm dwelling on daily. Still, it's gonna be a while before I actually make the move.

Pray with me on this.

Jun 4, 2007

Frat house

The last few days I've been giving serious thought to moving into the frat house. But here's the thing...


Just like I didn't want to go Summit; didn't want to go to college classes; didn't want to go to church; didn't want to go to work; didn't want to do nearly anything.

And yet I do, and need to, and will do so.

I recognize I need to get out of my comfort zone. Life will not improve at this rate, and nothing will change unless it is forced to.

Could I afford to live away from home? Yes, I probably could. I'd have to get real creative with my finances, and the thought of paying for school and having debt over my head terrifies me. School is the big thing hanging over my head; the thought of owing someone $50,000 really scares me. But then again, a friend of mine just bought a house, and I imagine that is freaking him out although he hides it very well.

I do not want to move into the frat house. It's not how I pictured my life going, and it's certainly not a "fun" thing to do. I'd much rather move in with Haueser and Joe, but there are other factors preventing me from doing that...not the least of which is that Joe stole my room. Seriously...

But there is something Jonathan told me that has been stuck in my head. To paraphrase, moving into the frat would be a great place for me to grow both in Christ and with others, teaching me not only how to better care for myself on my own, but how to relate to other people my age, and especially how to treat Christian women. And all those things are what I know I need. Just as how I came back from Summit with a desire to learn to cook, so I have the desire for all these other items too.

I do not want to end up living in the frat for the next 10 years with no ambition to move out and get my own place, content to just keep serving on the campus and living with a bunch of peeps. I have goals and dreams in life; marriage is one of them. But am I willing to live at the frat for a year or two before getting on my own feet? Sure, I guess.

Another part of me does not want to give certain people ("holy pricks") the satisfaction of having me live in the frat house. These are the same people who I'd rather not give the satisfaction of seeing me baptized in the Spirit. No kidding, if these people came up to me right after I was baptized and wanted to lay hands or give me a word, I'd either tell them to f*ck off if I was feeling nice, or I'd turn around and deck them if I was mad. I DO NOT LIKE THEM, and that is something God will have to change for me.

I do realize that those are very childish emotions, but I'm learning. Baby steps.

Other reasons why I do not want to live in the frat house...Well, first off, I'm not sure I could have a roomie. I know how I sleep, and as my friends can testify, I'm not easy to sleep in the same room with. Frequent nightmares, talks in sleep, occasional sleep walks, etc. Even if I don't remember them the next day does not mean they did not occur. Oh, the stories I could tell. So I'd have to go solo probably. (I imagine this is something God and I will have to work on when I get married)

Also, I am not at all crazy about living downtown. I barely feel safe walking the streets of Crystal at times. I can't imagine going out for a late night stroll downtown alone. Parking on the loop is better than parking behind the frat too, and yet I don't enjoy that. I enjoy it even less when it's below zero.

Also, and this was a big reason for me staying away from Christian universities, I am not cool with people going all holy and legalistic against me. If I want to listen to some U2 while playing a video game after working a 12 hour shift, don't you dare come in my room and tell me I should be listening to Hillsong United while reading my Bible! I will not put up with it. Period. Go be holy on someone else. You can encourage me, but the instance you start telling me how to live my life, we've got problems.

Ok, those are my biggest issues with moving into the frat. I'm trying my best to be partial and weigh the pros against the cons. I'm praying about it too, and hoping for a word from the Lord...beyond everyone from church coming up to me and saying it'd be good for me. That's advertising; not helpful.

I doubt there is some way I can snag Jelani's old room as a single; that'd be ideal. Cause I'd prefer to be upstairs with Cole and Ore and Chris and everyone, as opposed to tucked away in the basement...although down there I can listen to my music and play my games and movies without fear of disturbing or offending anyone!

So we will see. Keep me in your prayers. Thanks.

Passion and Purity by that Elliot chick

So I've been reading through Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot. It seems to always show up on the "Hit Lists" of Christians, along with titles such as Mere Christianity, My Utmost for His Highest, assorted works by Watchman Nee, and I Kissed Dating Goodbye (I'd advise staying away from that one).

Still don't understand why most Christians have never read The Screwtape Letters, though. But I digress...

Overall, I'd say it's a good book. I have maybe 15 pages to go or so, so not completely done, but I've enjoyed what I've read so far.

This Elizabeth Elliot chick seems to fit the mold of a lot of Christian ladies that I've known throughout my life. It's like they've become the spitting image of the woman as they've described themselves in the book. The only major difference is that there is no Jim in their life; and some of them are well into their forties. But highly used of God.

I do question Elliot's theology a bit though. She seems to like to pull phrases from the Bible at random to either confirm or deny her feelings on subjects. When questioning if it's lawful for someone to desire marriage, she pulls verses that basically call her the "whore of Babylon" in order to say that the desire is wrong. She takes scripture and twists it, whether intentionally or not. I don't understand how she can pull obscure Old Testament verses out instead of just reading through what Paul wrote on the subject.

And based on the quality of their letters, if that is what people talked like back in the 50's, I'm so very glad I live in the 00's! We like da way we talk, and you ain't changing us one bit!

Overall though I'd say it's an excellent book, far better than anything by Josh Harris or the Ludys (it's ok, I've met them, and while they are odd, they're ok), although the Ludy's book was pretty good.

It is a bit of an odd mindset this book has put me in, though. You start thinking of everything in life taking longer, as if that's the real grand master plan God has for everyone. I'm glad God does not have a chart somewhere in heaven where He checks off everyone's progress, keeping everyone to say the same rule and time. He's more hands on than that, thank God!

Guess that must be what the Spirit does...helps push us along and build us up. You know, all my life I've always thought that it was God who helped us, God who kept, God who did this and that for us. Reading through the NT over and over these past few weeks, I've begun to realize something. While yes it is God that is doing all these things, in reality, it's the Holy Spirit.

So why have I been fooled into thinking for so long that it was God the Father who worked in us instead of the Holy Spirit?