Jun 30, 2006

On spiders, mutants, and supermen

This is a rant about the film franchises of Spider-Man, Superman, and X-Men. These are my opinions and views at this present time, and I don't mean to attack any actor or director personally. Just my thoughts, nothing more. We can talk.

Worth noting- I read comic books. I know these franchises well.

Spoilers if you've never even heard of these films or characters.

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Well, just got done with watching Superman Returns with my brother. SR is directed by Bryan Singer, who previously helmed Xmen and Xmen2 (X2). I personally consider X2 one of the best superhero films ever made. He was slated to direct the third X-Men movie, but when the chance to direct a new Superman movie came up, he switched over and brought all his writing and directing staff with him.

When the opening credits are one of the most exciting parts of the whole movie, you have got problems.

Simply put...Superman Returns kinda sucks. For a bunch of different reasons. To start, there is the obligatory cheese factor; the "wink" to the audience the film keeps on giving. The acting also comes in question, although before acting comes casting, and this certainly was NOT the best of Lois Lanes. Kate Bosworth is an excellent actor, but she is not Lois Lane. Perhaps Kate Beckinsale would have been a better choice.

Kevin Spacey is an excellent Lex Luthor though; not as good or as evil as Michael Rosembaum on Smallville, but still excellent. The problem is he's basing his character on Gene Hackman's Lex from the original movies. He's almost comic side relief, with a touch of "twirling mustache" villain thrown in. This is NOT Lex Luthor.

Brandon Routh is simply a clone of Christopher Reeves. Now, if you liked the original movies, that's a good thing. If you thought the original movies were comedies, not to be taken seriously, and were poor attempts at adapting one of the most well versed characters in history, well, you won't like Brandon Routh. Routh is the new Hayden Christensen; give him three movies, he will be a great actor. Just don't expect alot the first time through.

If Singer can get away from the original movies for the next installment, we might have an excellent trilogy coming. Do away with all the Krypton nonsense, bad Lex Luthor schemes...in fact, get a new villain. Lex is classic and all, but he's been done, ad hoc. Something new is needed, new locations, new scenarious, new plots, and new "rescues"; helicopters, people, cars, kittens...it's all been done before. Bring us something new.

In fact, bring us Superman Vs Batman. Routh vs Bale. Now that would be an excellent movie.

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The strangest thing has happened though. I liked Xmen3 better than Superman Returns. X2 has long been one of my favorite movies, X1 was "meh," and I had high hopes (and some fear due to the new director) about X3. I've noticed a lot of hate on the internet towards X3, most of it unwarranted.

X3 delivered something Singer never gave us. Superpowers. We finally got to see Wolvie, Storm, Colossus, and others just unleash and let fly. And not "unleash, stop, think and cry about something, converse, unleash, fade to black." No, we finally got to see a great and amazing X-MEN movie. Not simply Beverly Hills Mutants.

While I do love Singer's movies, I'm glad he didn't direct the third film, because we finally got to see what we hadn't before. And there was still plenty of character plot and development.

And Rogue still was a whiny little girl, hardly anything like her comic book character. But I'll let that slide, cause that started in the first film.

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Since the teaser trailer for Spider-man 3 has finally hit the internet (the best thing quicktime.com is good for, hosting movie trailers), I decided to go and rent Spidey2.

Now, I hated Spidey1. It took me a while to get use to Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man. Scratch that, he was a great Spidey. He was a horrible Peter Parker. I also felt that Kirsten Dunst was not in any way Mary Jane (kinda ugly too), and a Power Ranger villain was just a disappointment, however amazing Willem Dafoe is.

I'll just ignore the whole thing about following comic book continuity...forget about Gwen Stacy...forget about Goblin...forget about Parker meeting Mary Jane in college...forget about the in-grown web shooters...forget about it all. It's a movie, comics just don't work too well on the big screen...unless it's Sin City.

Spidey2 comes around and is a much better movie. Better villian, it doesnt' look CG when Spidey is swinging around, the subplot with Mary Jane was better, and it set up recurring characters for the third movie. Plus, the subway/skytrain scene is amazing.

But I had a major gripe with Spidey2. The love triangle. I'm all for love triangles in movies, it's worked before and can work again; it makes some compelling drama. But Spidey2 crossed a line.

If you've seen the movie, Mary Jane decides at the very last second to run away from her wedding and fiance in order to "devote" herself to Peter Parker/Spidey.

When I saw this movie, I was furious. And very saddened.

The scenes are filmed in such a way that we are supposed to feel like this is the right thing for her to do. Sunlight is streaming, she's running in slow motion, music is playing (Hallelujah chorus)...this is a good thing, right? She's finally getting together with Spider-Man, who's always loved her and is THE HERO.

What about her fiance? Who loves her, desires her, is devoted to her, and was hers up til Peter grew a pair?

Let me write the subplot to the movie you won't see filmed or probably even remotely addressed. Scene 1- The next morning. John Jameson, the heroic astronaut pilot, wakes up in bed, drunk from the previous night's failed wedding. He starts crying, staring at her picture, and the engagement ring sitting on his nightstand. He reaches over, opens a drawer, pulls out a .45,

And blows his brains out.

Scene. Fade to black, roll credits.



I have no sympathy or joy for Mary Jane/Peter Parker. He's a loser who just happens to have "great powers with great responsibilty," and she's an emotional wreck who's been used by nearly everyone and yet is cold and calculating enough to destroy her fiance.

And yet still, Spidey2 is one of the better superhero movies. And I'll be there opening day to see Spidey3 cause I enjoy watching them.

But the values these movies are teaching leave much to be desired. Unless it truly is ok to play with people's emotions and leave the one who loves you for the one you desire (um, adultery?), as long as it was "meant to be."

Am I making any sense?

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Still, go watch them. They are great movies.

Jun 26, 2006

Power Blog #2

Thoughts are flowing right now, so I'm just gonna write...
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As much as I love the newer Prince of Persia games, there is one little aspect that annoys me. Aggravates me. Causes me to lose sleep at night.

The wall-jumping. Not, jumping from wall to wall; swinging on a pole and then jumping to the wall, and then kicking off that wall to another pole or ledge. I cannot seem to do the kickoff! It must be my timing, but it plagued me in the first game (I would have beaten it far faster) and it's still plaguing me in the second game!

It seems I'm not the only one who has this problem though, as a google search shows...

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With the release of the new slim sets, I have finally gotten hooked on Stargate SG-1. The movie has long been a favorite of mine; good actors, great premise, attractive love interest, memorable moments...a great movie. The series was just something I could never get into. Any episodes I saw were from later seasons, so nothing made sense or was familiar.

When they announced this past spring they were going to be re-releasing all the seasons in new slimmer packaging, and probably for a cheaper price, I knew I had to get at least the first season just to see if I liked it. Well, I loved it, and now I want more. Plus I'm pissed at the poor quality of Star Trek and other sci-fi shows compared to it.

I need to scrounge together another $35 for season 3...paypal donations are accepted.

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And the 4400 still continues to be one of the best shows I've ever seen...and I really love the music on the show. The opening credits song is especially amazing.

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As some of you have probably heard, they are releasing the Star Wars Trilogy on dvd, again, this coming fall. What they are releasing this time is the 04 and 05 dvds, but as a bonus feature, the complete "unaltered, uncut" theatrical originals. Basically, the newer versions are the Special Editions and the theatricals are before Lucas started digitally tinkering with the movies.

However, in a slap of the face to the many fans who wrote in requesting dvds of the Original originals...the theatricals...LucasFilm is only releasing them in a horrible condition. They call them the originals, but only because they are available in the most basic Stereo sound (the way they originally were), the worse picture condition possible (the way they originally were), and without the Episode numbers (the way they...yeah).

Now, I'm glad I'll finally have dvds of the movies without all the changes. But the least Lucas could do would be to fix them up to optimal picture AND sound quality, as well as leaving in the Episodes IV, Episodes V, etc, that he put in when he first released them on VHS.

Plus, these aren't even mastered from the originals...they are a copy of a copy of a copy, on top of that! Lazy, slap in the face...

However, I will give them some props. The new covers they came up with are gorgeous, especially the one for Empire Strikes Back.

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One more Star Wars note...I'm finally at long lasting going to be getting my hands on the infamous MagnoliaFan edits of the Prequel Trilogy. Supposedly these make the movies ten times better, so I'm really looking forward to them.

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It's of some amusement to me that I'm getting paid more doing menial work now than I ever did when I was actually working an on-air shift...

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More and more I'm reminded of just how crappy The Unforgettable Fire the album is compared to the rest of U2's body of work. Some good songs, but a horrible album. It's their worse, in my mind. Even October was a better album...

I like how myspace says the album was released in 1990...hardly, it came out back in 84/85. Myspace needs to be fixed in some places...

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There are a few people in this life that I do not ever want to see again if I had the choice. The reasons for this remain complicated.

I've noticed within circles that it is very, very unpopular to talk about such things as church discipline. I have gotten into several heated arguments with people about it. No matter how many scripture verses I throw at them, they refuse to believe that such a thing exists. People tend to believe in the concept of "grace" so much that any discipline or punishment is almost a sin.

The Bible has laid some very clear boundaries for church discipline. One to three people need to confront someone, and if that person ignores them or worse, they can be kicked out of the church until they've dealt with whatever sin or issue is their problem. Plus a pastor has a responsibilty to protect the church, and can ask people to leave who are harmful to the church.

It's pretty obvious that this power and responsibility can be abused. One of the questions I have regarding this is what happens when the person who is being kicked out, the "sinner," is in fact Biblically innocent of any wrongdoing. How does one respond when they are innocent but are being kicked out because of purely political reasons, or worse, some power play happening within the church?

I would argue that this same concept can be applied to your own personal life. There are a small number of people I know who, despite numerous attempts to point things out to them, have steadfastedly "hardened their hearts" or just chosen to listen and ignore. They make a huge pretense at being totally and completely holy, and yet drop their "guard" whenever it suits them and are revealed to be completely the opposite. Should we "throw these people out" of our circle of friends?

I've noticed that a lot of what I blog about could at face value be seen as exalting myself over others. Can I stress enough that that is hardly the case? I'm well aware of my faults, my sins, my flaws and shortcomings. At times there seems to be a line I walk between both sides of my nature and personality. It's more complicated than just a Christian side and a sinner side; redeemed vs unredeemed personalities. It's more than that. At times I can appear crude and to certain Christian eyes "backslidden" or even "heretical," and yet if you ask any of my Christian friends, they will tell you I am very grounded and have some pretty decent advise and wise worldviews to share. Many have come to me when they have questions about certain things.

I don't say these things to artificially puff me up or make me appear holier than thou; I say these things so that I don't have to bend over backwards in a pretense of humility when challenged by others. Plus I'm really tired of the attitude that I'm worthless and aren't studied enough to have valued opinions.

But onto the main matter. I have had several people call me various things to my face, including heretical and ungodly. As a Christian, it would seem to be my duty to listen to these complaints or observations against me, weigh them against Scripture, consult God/Spirit, and then act when needed. If they are proven wrong, what then?

When someone wrongs you, you forgive them. Simple as that. But does that mean you must have continual fellowship with this person? If someone wrongs you enough times, even if you forgive them, are you still expected to hang out with them or commune with them? I know several people who it seems cannot be in my presence without wronging me or slighting me in some sense. Either a spiritual attack, Biblical attack, personal attack, or indirect attack. I won't get into specifics.

So I try and pray to forgive. But must I still continue to see this person? To the people who the details are known to, it has been suggested on numerous times that I pack up and move away, either by finding a job in another state or going to a school elsewhere. Perhaps this would be a wise thing for me to do anyway. Life has gotten way too easy and comfty here.

Moving might be one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I look at people like Terry Lange and my friend Josh who have successfully moved crosscountry and are doing well because of it. Heck, Terry is married with a kid now and Josh is even engaged!

The solution does not seem to be to move into the frathouse. While I support Jelani in his decision to do so...something within me screams "NO!" whenever I think about it myself. The frathouse appears to be a deadend to me, or maybe better yet a funnel; you know whats gonna happen to you and where you will be when you come out of it. And I really don't think I can live with a bunch of Christians who I don't know well.

As far as living options, there seems to only be a few choices for me: 1- live alone, 2- live with a spouse and future kids, 3- live with old friends, and 4- live with people I have nothing in common with (although that's an extreme).

So maybe moving would be the ideal. A new place, new state, new people, new friends, new life. All the job opportunities I'd really like to pursue seem to be in either California or New York or Seattle anyway. Moving would also allow me to get away from certain people and in truth much of Christianity in general. I wouldn't turn my back on Christianity, but certain aspects of it.

So I really don't know, ultimately. It's something I'm going to have to pray about, and I'd like it if you can remember me too once in a while.

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I've written enough, and I'm tired of staring at this screen.

Oh, once last thing. I've been thinking way too much again, and it's come to my attention that perhaps buying myself a laptop would be one of the smartest and wisest buying decisions I could make. It'd give me a portable computer, a place to store any writing I'd like to do, a place to put all my music, and even give me an excuse to start playing my collection of CRPGs I've been stockpiling.

I figure a P4 with at least a 120 gig harddrive, dvd player, and internal networking card would be the minimum specs...maybe a decent soundcard and graphics card too...for under $600. Work and play and the future in one box...

Jun 19, 2006

Summit Coda

So now I can say I've been to Summit. Been there, done that, chose not to buy the t-shirt (and ran out of time to get my autograph on it, too!). Didn't buy the dvd either, although if anyone has a copy, pass it around.

Summit was a great experience. I'm very glad I went, even with the high elevation and the obnoxious roommates...whom I still love. While my zeal and determination has kinda wained in the face of real normal life, I'm still determined to get my brother to go to Summit before he goes off to college, no matter which college he goes to. I might not push for my old youth group to go, although I should probably still swing everything by Josh.

I did not go to Summit to learn worldviews or anything else. I went mainly because I thought I could better understand a lot of what I'm being taught at church. I feel at times that I'm simply holding up a Bible and shouting "WHY DOES IT ALL NOT MAKE SENSE??"...while still trying to live a semi-normal life that does not live and breathe the Bible 24/7.

I'll be honest here; the idea of me sitting around and reading my Bible during every idle second of the day does not sound appealing to me at all. If that's the highest standard Christians should aspire to, well, I don't. And if I should, I better pray God changes me from the inside out.

But I have learned many things. I even have several books, a dvd, and a few sheets of paper that I need to find time to go over in detail and in prayer. And the Spirit is still knocking on my heart, asking me to let down all these Biblical and religious strongholds I have in my life and let Him in for a drink. And from what I've heard, when you and the Spirit get together for drinks, He will drink you under the table.

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I should note that I've been having fewer "demon" dreams or whatever they were. When we went to Summit, everything just started to get more vivid and hyper-realistic. I don't know if it was just being there that gave me the dreams, or if it was a more clear and uncluttered focus on God, or a lack of music (the dreams did diminish after I started partaking before going to bed) and media...I'm not really sure. I've had a few weird dreams since coming back, but things seem to be getting closer to normal. Nothing super terrifying at least (watch me jinx myself now...).

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I feel the need to write more about "The Girl." The amount of crap/comments I've been receiving from people about her is amazing. People who I didn't even know could read are asking me whatever happened to her!!

Well, there's really not much to say. I saw an attractive girl at the Flying W, and kept on running into her throughout the night. Throughout the night I noticed her performing certain tasks with a certain type of Spirit behind them, and it spoke to me. Said some things, some that still sting, some that just remind.

As attractive as the girl was, she personally is really nothing (especially if she just graduated from highschool); she is more of an idea that anything else. Her actions and testimony remind of certain traits that I myself use to have. I use to always be the courteous one, the one who will always open the door, move the chair, volunteer, help out, or whatever. I did it partly because I wanted to and partly because it was needed.

Sadly, I've changed. I got way too tired of being stepped on, abused, counted on, demanded on, etc. It's part of the reason why I finally left Fourth Baptist and got so fed up with Davanni's. I was there every single day of the week helping out and doing something "for the Lord." "Storing up treasures in heaven." "Making the store run smooth." Etc. When you've held the door for 300-500 people, end up being the last in line, not had a place left waiting for you with your group of friends, or missed out on something important yet trivial....you get really tired of it really quick.

The Girl's actions kinda stung me a little. Still does, if I think about it too hard. I saw something in her that's missing in me, and not only did it convict me of what I need to be more like, but it made me realize that that was a character trait I want to see in others, or more importantly, the mythical "future wife."

And yes, I know the last will be first, etc. Still.

Another important fact that came out of The Girl is a strong sense or belief that a decent single Christian woman is out there somewhere in the world. For the longest time I've wanted nothing to do with Christian women, cause I find their "testimony" or life rather repulsive. I've seen too many Christian girls who are the worse lot of humanity.

Not that I am a saint by any means, far from it, but when Christians are commanded to marry other Christians, I plan on upholding my end of the bargain and be a decent person. The way you act is FAR more important than if you have a "born again" experience; it's only through actions that we can impact people. Actions shout louder than words, etc etc.

But while I don't know if The Girl in question is saved or not, she made me realize something. Somewhere out there is a person that God has put aside for me at a certain time that I will be 1- attracted to, 2- can respect, 3- will be a Christian, 4- will be a decent person, and 5- some unknown quality I can't put into words (yet).

AKA- She gave me hope, without saying a single word or pointing out a single verse. And that's precious.

The Girl is an ideal. Nothing more. While I wouldn't mind meeting her again, learning her name, if she's saved, etc...I don't have to. God can do that for me.

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Summit is probably going to be an ongoing experience. I'll probably blog when new things strike me or inspire. While this might be the bookend to all official Summit blogs, more will come.

Did I have fun? Fun is a hard thing for me to describe. I enjoyed my time at Summit; not all of it, but most of it. Could have done without some of the drama and people, and especially that stupid mandatory sports time (SOME OF US NEED TO SLEEP!!!).

So if "fun" is a ratio, amount of enjoyment to amount of misery, then yes, I definitely had fun, and would gladly do it again.

I give Summit a 70-75% fun experience on a 100% scale. However, add another 10 points if I'd actually allowed myself to become super interested in anyone (or inquire about anyone who was interested in me...I got some unwelcome hints). Add another 10 points if I had gotten to go eat at Popeyes...

In Summary- Summit was fun, inspirational, educational, edutainmental, tiring, and one of the better "camp" experiences I've ever been on. And a great place to meet some new friends.

Dave, you still owe me a cd, and Joe, you owe me like $22 or something...and Beau/Garrett, give me a call, we gotta hang out sometime.

That is all.

"Dear Prudence..."

Jun 15, 2006

On being on stage and playing with U2

I'm sorry I haven't written the "Summit Coda" yet. I've been busy dealing with some minor health issues and other things, and just haven't sat down and typed it out yet. I really wanted all Summit stuff to be in one group, but alas, that can't be. I feel the need to post this in as many places as I can online.

Jelani had a dream a while back, maybe a week, where he was at the U2 concert with all of us. I know this because he told me. Not sure who the us is, really, but odds are, when U2 swings back into town, I'm going to be bringing maybe 4 or 5 people depending on cost, and I know Joe and David are probably gonna convince other people to go.

So from me bringing 2 other people to see U2 back in September, the next time we might have a group numbering 15 or more!

But back to Jelani's dream...of which I am really, really hoping it is prophetic in some small way. Jelani dreamed that I was on stage singing with Bono.

Now, that'd be awesome. If I were up to it, and I'd need some practice in order to even come close to singing some of their songs. But what would be even cooler is if I was singing AND playing with U2 on stage!

I figure I really have two shots at that. The first, would be to play handbell accompaniment on "Electrical Storm." That would require me to meet the band, talk it out with them, work out the song arrangment, and practice like crazy. And then rock the casbah, and with that song, preferably in an open-air stadium at night (obviously not the Metrodome). Check out the song to see what I mean.

The second shot I have would first require me to learn how to play acoustic guitar. And while there are many, many different acoustic songs U2 has played with fans over the years (they've always been famous for pulling an audience member on stage to play guitar with them), the song I'd really like to play with them (or rather, Bono on vocals and Adam on bass) would be "Flower Child," a song that was not on an album (strike one against it) but was on the Essential U2 ipod exclusive collection (strike two). And I guarantee that Bono forgot the lyrics (strike three).

Anyways, its an easy song to play on acoustic guitar, one I could easily learn and probably should, after I learn how to play first.

I figure I'll bring a big poster to the concert that says (Bono and I can make a "Flower Child") and in small letters (i brought lyrics).

Stranger things have happened at U2 shows, believe me.

I have a whole "Open Letter to U2" I've been planning on writing and posting online soon...but for now, enjoy the lyrics to "Flower Child."

If you want a copy of the song, let me know, I can upload it to you somehow.

"Flower Child"

On the fifth day of May
She was breaking away
When the moon came and sat on your shoulder
She was still young
Not yet high-strung
Which you need to be when you get older
George was the street
When you first faced defeat
You put money on the colour of her sky
Well the cold of her voice
Left you there with no choice
But to drink the liffy dry

The seeds that you sew
You want to watch them grow
Wild, you grow wild
You grow wild in my heart
Wild, you grow wild
You grow wild in my heart

Here comes Holy Joe
Now, how would he know
How laughter can make a man cruel
Theres fire on fire
When lovers conspire
To either a duet or duel
When its fire on fire
The flames just get higher
The harder you work to put them out
Well, you know that youre similar
Sugar and weak
In a boat heading north facing south

The seeds that you sew
You want to watch them grow
Wild, you grow wild
You grow wild in my heart
Wild, you grow wild
You grow wild in my heart

Wild

Whats on your breath
Is it fear of death
That makes such a man promiscuous
Your mouth was dry
Like when youre about to lie
And her lips are so lucous
Youve seen it before
Youre hurled at her door
Like a dog when she needed a man
Now she aches and she breaks
And she takes all the weight
Of your world, she almost can

The seeds that you sew
Well, you want to watch them growing
The wind, where will it blow
My flower child
Wild, you grow wild
You grow wild in my heart
Wild, you grow wild
You grow wild in my heart

Wild

The sky was still gray
Up on Albion way
As the yellow hats took up the road
Didnt hear what she said
As the lights turned red
On a love that should have stayed gold
Gold

Wild, you grow wild
You grow wild in my heart
Wild, you grow wild
You grow wild in my heart
Wild, you grow wild
You grow wild in my heart
Wild, you grow wild
You grow wild in my heart

Jun 6, 2006

Summit pics

Well, since I didn't bring a camera on the Summit trip, mainly due to money reasons and how our digital camera is kinda crappy...like a disposable...you all will have to go here,

http://www.pixagogo.com/8073725232

to have a look at all the wonderful things I and others were doing for two weeks.

Thanks be to Joe and especially Sarita for taking these pics and putting them online. Mucho gracias.

Jun 2, 2006

Summit Update #3

"Free at last, free at last...THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M FREE AT LAST!!!"

Don't start asking if I had a good time...I need some time to unwind/ponder/unwind/pray/unwind; I'll write a Summit Coda later. Emphasis on the unwind. By Wednesday night, I was ready to go home, and it's only by the grace of God that I've been able to enjoy myself the last few days. It seems some prayer does work...lol, just kidding. Still, I will be very glad to be home.

Summit is a great experience. I'm already planning on getting/paying for my brother to come here next summer, and I'm also scheming about how to get Fourth's youth group to come here. It's that important.

But for me, I unwind by being alone. If I could have a weekend off, just by myself, I would be ready for another two week stint at Summit. However, I will admit that I'm thinking about applying to work here some summer. It would be a great experience, and hopefully one God will bless.

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Down the hall there is a party going on. Parties and me aren't exactly best of friends. While I can enjoy certain types of parties, the mass of people, the sweat, the heat, and the idiocity eventually just wear me down. Everyone has to take pictures with everyone, regardless who they are. (Or their age in relation to your own...) There are very few people here that I will honestly miss, and I've already made arrangements to keep in touch with them. There are a few people I will miss seeing and experiencing every day, but that's different. I miss Conan O'Brien, but it's not like he's a personal friend...yet (one day).

Am I being anti-social? Possibily. I don't know. I just know it's very hard for me to be "slow to anger" around a huge mass of people. You will always run into that one person who is just ignorant of his/her surroundings and has a big ego. I'm probably doing everyone a favor by not hanging around behind everyone and just listening to everyone talk because they never slow down for a second.

I'd rather just sit here and think and listen to Delirious on J's laptop...

"On Christ the solid Rock we will stand!/All other ground...is sinking sand"

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Tomorrow we get up waaaaaay too early and drive back to Minnesota. If I'm lucky...I might get a chance to drive. Don't really know if that is wise though; I'm already under probation, and Jonathan has a reputation for being a "speed nazi" or something. But still...it would definitely be a nice change of pace, and I know I can last behind the wheel, especially if the speed control actually works.

Although...I imagine the seating arrangement will be the same as it was coming down. And although I do love Beau and Garrett (at times)...their taste in music and sermons leaves me a little bland at times. I somehow doubt I'll be able to just flip on the radio or turn on my cds and listen to what I want to; unless they are asleep.

Music parity...I should get a t-shirt saying "I DEMAND MUSIC PARITY!!"

But "lest ye offend..."

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There's a pretty heavy subject weighing on my heart right now. It's a subject that has slowly been building but nigh exploded last night. An event happened that I praise God for. But behind it is something else. I've been praying about it, and probably gonna be praying about it for a while. Wisdom is what I need. Do I just let this pass, or do I act on it? Will it be beneficial to anyone, or will it just cause harm?

I'm so tired of thinking and dealing with the tough and big questions...

Chris tells me that instead of reading a book/watching tv/listening to music/or anything else, he's rather just sit and think. Well...good for him. If that helps him, I support it. But for me, I am so tired of thinking...so weary...my mind won't shut down.

I use things to not think...and I thank God for them.

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Well, I better go rejoin civilization.

I need caffeine...